For me, an ideal mentor is someone that pushes us to be the best version of ourselves. A good mentor is someone that shows us the way by embodying principles they wish to instill in us. Most importantly, a good mentor is also our cheerleader, rooting for us. Steven Spielberg rightfully says- “The delicate balance of mentoring someone is not creating them in your own image, but giving them the opportunity to create themselves.” I have been fortunate that many of my mentors have lived by this principle. In many ways, Spielberg’s quote also aligns with what my Brick Street Toastmasters club is all about. I also believe that all its members are my mentors in some way. Each and every one of them has accepted me for who I am. They have welcomed me into the club. They have motivated me, encouraged me, and given me useful feedback through their evaluations. All of this has allowed me to grow and improve to become a confident and a better speaker. I admit there have been a couple of embarrassing debacles along the way. Still, my club members have given me an opportunity to learn and rise from those mistakes. I feel grateful and eternally thankful for their kindness and support and in taking a personal interest in my growth and development. After all, learning is an on-going process, and we are all always learning from one another.
Having said that, I would like to specifically share my thoughts on how two extraordinary people have impacted my life.
The first person is someone who has added immense value and meaning to my life. She is my mother- my ideal mentor. My mom has always been my constant support system. She is continually pushing me to be the best version of me even till today. While growing up, my mother never really cared about how I compared with my peers. Instead, she challenged me to compete against myself. She would show me how I could continuously improve. Through my formative years, she would push me to take on hobbies, learn, and participate in new activities that were out of my comfort zone. Most importantly, she taught me to show dedication in everything I would set out to do. It was because of her constant encouragement, love, and affection that I am getting close to being the best version of myself today. Even now, when mom is not actively pushing me, her actions are a source of inspiration for me. She will be sharing these inspiring quotes and stories on empowerment, and leadership via WhatsApp. This gives me the needed boost when I am disillusioned or tend to doubt my capabilities.
My mother is someone who has sacrificed her dreams over ours. She has always found a way to do what is right by putting her family first. If I had to come up with one word to describe her, it would be – integrity. Mom has taught me how to be honest, have a strong work ethic, and most importantly, taught me to be empathetic and kind towards others. Today, many of my learned behaviors are a result of observing how my mother conducts herself around others. When I am faced with any critical moral decision in my career or in life, I ask myself what mom would do and what she would want me to do.
My mother has also been a relentless supporter of my success. She is my biggest cheerleader. She wants nothing more than for me to recognize my full potential. The ultimate cheerleading moment that still stands fresh in my mind is when I graduated from grad school with honors! When I called mom to give her the good news, she was ecstatic. Her reaction was a simple triumphal scream of joy.
The second person is someone who I met upon joining Toastmasters in September 2019. She is a my mentor and friend —Molly. As my mentor and I her mentee, we share a symbiotic relationship that is mutually beneficial to both of us.
There are three things that I’ve learned from her.
1) Show up to the meeting and challenge yourself to take on a role as a fellow toastmaster. Since joining Toastmasters, I have taken on many roles. Each of these roles has taught me something. As a grammarian, I have learned to improve my active listening and feedback delivery in a positive way. Being a ‘timer’ has helped me with coordination and time management. Being a ‘speech evaluator’ has offered me training for: critical and analytical thinking, feedback delivery, motivation skills, speech organization, and delivery, as well as public speaking. Molly has always guided me and shared some of her useful tips before pushing me to taking on these roles. She has been physically present at the meetings to encourage and cheer me. At the end of each task, she has given her valuable feedback. This may be via a phone call, text message, or over our monthly one on one meetings over brunch.
2) Do your research. Whenever preparing speeches, it’s essential to do your research. Make sure that there are no YouTube videos, TED talks that sound similar to yours. If so, then it becomes imperative to cite the source. This is something I have learned the hard way. You can end up losing your credibility in the process.
3) Be authentic and tell your story. Authenticity means being genuine. Tell your story because you BELIEVE IT – or better yet because you’ve LIVED IT. This vital lesson has helped me not only with preparing my speeches but also a whole lot with my writing skills. When I started working on my first story for this blog, I knew it would be a disservice to my readers if I did not tell my story from the heart. So, by being fearless and describing it as is, has helped me to continue with my subsequent stories by being as authentic and real as possible. This is allowing me to build a foundation of trust with my followers and readers.
Rhommel Canare, a Principal HR Compliance Data Analyst at the University of California on his LinkedIn blog, says, “Mentorship is a two-way street. It may be easy to default to the idea that the mentor plays a dominant role in the relationship. However, protégés—must remember to take ownership of their growth and development in such a relationship by being prepared, being inquisitive, and pushing their boundaries towards unlimited possibilities“. I continue to do just that!
Life Is Like That! 